Treat, please?

If her majesty permits, I'd like to tell you my story. My name is Tofu and I like to eat. I've had my pet humans since birth. My mother and father, Hazel and Casper, are both owned by my pet human's mother. I had a very different life from Mitsu as a puppy. Two of my siblings did not survive birth and one, Laifu, died after one month. I lived most of my pup life in solitude with no other puppies to play with. I was kept in a little box with a pillow. It didn't bother me so much. It meant there was more food for me! Plus, my pet humans played with me 24/7! That is, until Mitsu arrived.
Anyway, enough about that, back to the good part. The best things in life are FOOOOOOD! Ever since I took that first drink of my mother's milk, I've had an insatiable appetite for all things yummy. I'd have to say that my favorite is chicken nuggets. It's really difficult to pick favorites though. What I remember as a puppy is being given roasted chicken from El Pollo Loco. I was hooked! It was so much better than that dry crap they give us everyday!
Just so you know, I am a high-fiving champion. My skill and expertise in this area has earned me a lot of treats! Maybe one day I can show you (and you can give me a treat).

Me First!

My name is Mitsu. My pops is Pomeranian and my moms is Maltese. My other five sibling pups looked full Pomeranian and little ole me was the only one to look full Maltese. I was picked on alot by the other pups and learned how to growl at a very early age.
The rumor is that my two pet humans scored me for a bag of weed. If you knew one of them, the one I named "Daddy", and how much weed was going for in the place I was born in, you'd know that makes me a very very special purchase.
The only problem is that they already have a dog! Grrrrrrrr! Her name is Tofu! And guess what? She's a purebred Pomeranian! Grrr, I'd rather hang out with cats than her! She had been with them for a year already! But, enough about her. Let's get back to me.
I generally like sitting or laying on chairs and the pillows my pet humans lay their heads on. I also like hanging out under tables or in closets or in my all-time favorite place, dirty laundry. I don't like vegetables or carbs. I do like chicken, meat and McD's french fries though. What can I say? I'm only canine! I burn off these calories by doing laps, mostly around couches or other strategically placed pieces of furniture. I also like to take myself out for walks around the neighborhood. It's so much more fun than when my pet humans take me (when their lazy butts DO decide to take me! tch!).
My humans like to torment me by giving me weird haircuts and staying out all hours of the night without calling. I get back at them by pooping on the carpet. I remember two summers ago when they barely ever came home. While Mommy was sleeping, I figured out a way to stop her from going out. I chewed up her favorite Guess wedges that she wore out every night. That wasn't such a great plan. She caught me and wanted to kill me. Don't worry though. I have a SECRET weapon. It's called undeniable cuteness! It's kept me alive and well-fed to this day.
To be continued...

Pictures from top to bottom:
1.me and my momma. her name is Mochi
2.me and my pet human, Daddy
3.me and tofu, circa 2002